great hustle boys....

What a game.

We know we lost, but it was a game well faught. We still got a point and some players especially had great games. Blake actually showe up tonight (three assists) and Kulemin notched two goals.

First Period

No goals but some good speed by Poni and some nice saves on Gustavsson and Turco's parts. We outshoot Dallas 9-2. G-stav makes it look so fucking easy.

During the intermission, Bob McKenzie and the rest of the TSN panel (including Craig McTavish who upped his excitement level by only about one level- snore) discusses some of the hits that went on in the league this past week. The more serious ones are discussed. Bob makes a good point, saying something about the U.S Congress getting tougher on the NFL about hits on the head, and then says, "I think the NHL should give thanks that the Congress doesn't know they exist."

Those be some fighting words.

They alo discuss who they think should be the captain of the Olympic men's hockey team. Crosby's name is obviously thrown around, so is Scott Niedermeyer. Whoever it is, they better be up for the task.

Second Period

We start off with some more speed, except from Stalberg, and a great defensive play by Luke Schenn and a save by G-stav.

Dallas gets the first goal, which was partly the fault of Beauchemin as he decided to go to a cheap strip joint or something and completely leave the side of the net open, where he is supposed to be. G-stav is angry, and it's visible (was that a stick banging on the net we see, Mr. Gustavsson?) The announcers start spewing off how the Leafs have given up the first goal in ever game this season blah blah blah

ZOMG KULEMIN!

Nice little play there. Sneaky sneaky. The puck goes in the smallest space possible. 1-1.

Third Period

Shittiest penalty EVER called on Komisarek for "high sticking". Please. He faked it more than socer players fake diving. Fuck.

Dallas scores. Bring out the Jason Spezza nervous laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMxJzdVYtXY

Fucking gold. Too bad he's a Senaturd. We're quietly trying to smuggle him out of there.

But then LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STEMPNIAK scores, and we completely forget about the nervous Jason Spezza laugh (nervous or just a nerd laugh? You decide.)

There comes a point where G-stav does a little somthin'somethin'.

First there's a

Then there's a
And last but not least

There comes a moment in Melissa's life where she begins to quote Twilight, but with Maple Leaf players. It's pretty funny yet awkward, as Vanessa is probably the only girl in North America who hasn't read the books (and refuses to read them).

"G-stav....YOU ARE MY LIFE NOW."

"You Schenn are my own personal brand of heroin."

FUCK YOU LUKE SCHENN IS BETTER THAN ROB PATZ ANYDAY LIKE COME ON SRSLY IS THAT EVEN AN ARGUMENT.

Kulemin scores his second and we are in the lead. This is awesome. Vanessa's dad is even getting excited, and he's a Bruins fan.

Ribeiro steals our thunder with about thre minutes left to go. We're going to over time.

Overtime

Kind-of sort-of close to hometown boy (hometown boy as in Toronto, not Dallas [really, a hockey player from Texas?!]), James Neal from Whitby scores the winner.

Le sigh.

LEAFS LOSE 4-3 IN A SHOOTOUT

S'ok. G-stav was clearly angry though. Good thing? Or bad thing?

We think good. He got mad after every shot he let in, which means he obviously doesn't like letting them in. This can be incentive to not let in goals? Perhaps.

See you on Friday.

GO LEAFS!

WIN!!!1!!1!

We're elated. Today we have a little but more oomph in our step because of this win. We played a great game, didn't take too many moron-esque penalties, and we just... we just rocked, okay?
FUCKING TRUCULENCE MOTHER FUCKERS.

First Period

There is something wrong with the world when we see palm trees before a shot of the ice in the arena. Regardless, the power of the nineties techno is on our side. Night at the Roxbury, we love you.

G-stav is in net and that obviously tickles our fancy. We kind of love him, a lot. We care about his groin more than we care about that book review we had to write on that book that we didn't even read (yeah, we know that sounds wrong). We don't feel a gut-wrenching pain in our stomachs when any Anaheim player skates towards the net.

Grabbo opens the score for Toronto, making it 1-1. Now if only Grabbo could take off that helmet so his Bon Jovi hair can express itself...

Sooner rather than later Hagman gets his first goal of the night, making us lead 2-1. Steve and Doug would be proud. He has been nothing short of amazing this season (despite our craptacular start). Smiles creep onto our faces. This is going to be a good night.

Second Period

Hagman gets his second goal, and the ferocious texting battle begins. We try to study for mid-terms, but since we're going to get raped sideways anyway, we turn on the game.

"How does one study when we are winning it's become such a rare moment!"
"FUCK YOU MESOPOTAMIAN GODS WE HAVE HAGMAN!!!1!!1!"

Bobby Ryan scores for Anaheim near the end of the period, but we're not worried. We can't explain it...maybe it's because we have G-stav in net. Maybe it's because it looks like we can actually play hockey. Maybe it's because we are now excelling at the powerplay. Steve and Doug are clearly on our side tonight.

Thanks guys.

Third Period

WAS THAT A LEE STEMPNIAK GOAL?!

We found this while searching for "Lee Stempniak goal Oct 26 2009". Obvious credit to whoever made it. Not like the Leafs are a sub-standard team...And it's too fucking bad he's still wearing the Blues jersey.

TOMAS KABERLE LOLZLOLZLOLZ YOU ARE SO CZECH WE LOVE YOU

Czech it out. AHAHAHAA get it? Oh fuck.

P.S. Kabby, five points in one game? LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS IS WHY WE DIDN'T TRADE YOU, RIGHT?

"omfg theres this contest on rogers where you can win a prize where you watch a game with ASIAN BURKE AND get a tour of me dressing room"
"...who the FUCK is asian burke? LMFAO TELL ME THEY MADE A CLONE OF HIM SOMEWHERE"

NIKLAS HAGMAN HAT TRICK WOWOWOWOWOW LIKE SRSLY HAGMAN UR SO AMAZING.

No like SRSLY can we start playing "What is Love?" and you can start dancing with us and it will be so fun and then Luke Schenn will join in too and hell why not bring in Stempniak and we can all rock our heads to the left and then for jokes Ron Wilson can join in too but he'll only do it for a little bit cause he's all serious and such but then Brian Burke will see Ron Wilson doing it and think to himself "Well fuck my hardass reputation Imma join in too" and he will start doing it and then everyone on the team will go out and celebrate in Anaheim to this song and steal all the hot bitches in Anaheim from all the greasy dudes there. *takes deep breath*

Corey Perry, sorry bud but you don't exactly matter at this point anymore.

LEAFS DOMINATE 6-3

We're skipping to class.

AND NOW A WORD ON JONAS GUSTAVSSON

We would be totally fine with him starting every game of this season, barring injury. The goaltending situation isn't too bleak with him around the save the day. However, we are wondering what kind on concoction Brian Burke is stirring up to keep him in Toronto. Last time we checked he only signed a one year deal with us so we're speculating how Burke is going to handle the situation. Not that we think G-stav would particularly leave Toronto when he's already had his fache put on cereal boxes (remember that save against Detroit in the preseason? Fuck, we still get shivers) Some of the saves tonight are bound to give us shivers when we re-watch them as well. We can get used to this feeling of hearing a "HOLY MACKINAW WHAT A SAVE BY GUSTAVSSON" being heard by Joe Bowen every game night (side note - good to have you back Joe! WE <3>We can't wait to see what the rest of the season has in store for us.

It's an Improvement..but still no win.

Everyone knows we lost..it's kind of just goes with the Leafs now...the Leafs lose end of story. BUT even though we lost tonight, we saw some signs of great hockey (great hockey..from the Leafs...NOO!) The Leafs fans were really represented in 'Nucks town..it was a great atmosphere in the GM Place.

The first period starts and we are feeling pretty good about our team. We were leading in shots, we were out skating, JMac was making saves (yup that's right saves) it was fabulous, we thought it was a time shift back to the preseason. But as soon as we think this we take 5 straight penalties. This evidently leads to this:

And after taking that many penalties we are fuming, we love you Leafy's but could you please PLEASE stop taking stupid penalties. Thank you! Love Melissa and Vanessa.

By the end of the first it is 2-0 and we are scared it's going to go downhill from there.

Intermission: Don Cherry is the man..seriously, that suit tonight was epic and the hat that went along with it that had a little pom pom on the top..truly amazing

Unfortunately this picture does show the hat..but we can't ask for to0 much can we.

Second period begins and we actually don't look like we don't want to be on the ice at..which is not something we have seen in a while..The 'Nucks even took some penalties! And we all know what penalties lead to!

funny how it's not even a picture of the goal scorer.(well hey there Stalberg =))

Hagman scoreeess!! This is after Blake was skating around Loungo hacking at him earning him the comparison to a flipper on a pinball machine (a very good analogy if you ask us).

Then something the two of us have been waiting for all season happens. LUKE SCHENN FIGHT!!!!!

We were so excited for this moment..we always thought Luke looked best during/after fights..and we were not disappointed tonight. Not disappointed at all. (So we may be a tad biased..but Schenn won...he just didn't want to unleash all his power on poor Glass.)
Right as the period is about to end the unthinkable happens..bad give away=break away...We think the hockey gods are finally starting to come around because just as they get to the net we are saved by the bell (pun intended) the buzzer goes off...and we both almost have heart attacks.
Third period...WE HAVE A HOCKEY GAME! A LEGIT HOCKEY GAME!! someone call the poh-poh..some crazy shit is going down. The Leafs, dare we say it..look good, and if it wasn't for Mr. Fantastic at the other end of the ice we may have gotten away with at least one point. Joey Mac played amazing tonight..it was so nice to watch a goalie make some saves. We were very entertained all night long. (Well minus that one time in the first..but sh!)
Funniest part of the third period: Vancouver hits the post, or completely misses the empty net at least 50 times before it goes in.
'Nucks win 3-1, but good effort tonight boys..we are very proud of you.
Monday we play Anaheim..it's going to be a short post seeing as school has decided to hit us with a wave of never ending homework and midterms. G-Stav will be in net most likely..looking forward to that shit.
GO LEAFS!

We can't catch a break.

We really don't know what it is going to take to get the Leafs to win a game. The have lightened the mood at practices, made changes to the line up...we really don't know what else can be done. One thing that bugged us tonight was when Joey Mac was annouced..people were booing. Now we understand everyone is upset, we are too, extremely upset, what is that going to do for his confidence. Absolutely nothing that's what..and he needs all he can get with this team infront of him! But J.Mac we salute you for stepping up at playing with us when, apparently, no one wants you (Do we all actally believe the injuries..psh).

So the game starts with a little flash back to the 90's with Potvin, Osborne and Berg dropping the puck (a collective sigh as all Leaf fans remember better times..). Back to the first period..everything seems to be going great, the Leafs actually look decent..we are going to the net, getting ample opportunities, Luke is set on destroying someone tonight and delivers a monster check on Rozsival, but we could be wrong..we were in a daze by the montrosity of the hit..but then Ponikarovsky goes and does something idiot like this whilst on a 5 on 3:

Slash. 2 minutes in the box.

New York obviously takes advantage of this situation and scores..the Leafs give up the first goal of the game..again.

Second period, shit flies through the roof, New York score two more goals...it's 3-0..But then Ian White scores making it 3-1 (there are no pictures of this event..even the photographers were in too much shock to take a picture) Near the end of the period, Avery decides to give Schenn a little face wash...bad idea..he will now be impregnated by Schenn and will have to sit out for the rest of his life (we can dream can't we.). As we get to the third period and New York scores another goal making it 4-1 we realize it is going to be one of those games again and we immediately decide to go find funny pictures of the game and make silly comments about them because humour is always the way to turn in times like these.

First up we have Rosehill taking a break from the game to do his daily pilates "And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4. Really need to work off that pizza I ate."

Next up: Grabs.

in this case..we think the picture is woth 1000 words..and then some.

(we really just put that because we don't know what to think..it's a pretty insane picture if we do say so ourselves)

The Leafs next game isn't 'til next Saturday..one whole week without hockey..but don't you worry, we have some great features coming up to fill in the gaps.

Then the week after that we play Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday again. Way to spread the games Bettman..fantastic job buddy.

That's all for tonight. 4-1. Leafs loose..again.

Goodnight all!

the coup d'etat is ready to go.

This is basically what happened to us. We're wallowing our heads in shame right now. Pure shame. If we didn't have mid-terms coming up we'd be staying in the house, in our pajamas, eating ice cream. (Wait - we might still do that.)

Where is the chemistry? Where is the confidence? For fuck sakes, you are all players on the TORONTO FUCKING MAPLE LEAFS. HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF SWAGGER.

Congrats to Tyler Bozak for getting his first NHL point. We were glad that Stalberg was back, really glad. He looked good out on the ice.

We're not losing hope. Not yet. We may be getting unexplicably shit-faced to the point where we don't remember these past six games, but we're not losing hope.

We're Leaf fans. We've been hoping since we can remember.

That's all we have to say. That's all that can really be said.

.....

We're staging a coup d'etat and playing for the Leafs ourselves. Considering we don't even know how to skate that well, WE'D BE THE BEST PLAYERS ON THE FUCKING TEAM RIGHT NOW.

We don't even want to recap tonight because the game was just pure shit (besides the little light glimmering in the second period). Needless to say it was a very unhappy Canadian Thanksgiving. NO THANKS HAVE BEEN GIVEN.

We feel like we've been raped bya fucking Samsquantch or something.

The best thing that happened all night was Jeff Finger finger-banging people. If you don't get the reference, we have no faith in humanity anymore.

Bring back the Frat Pack (or at least Bozak, for fuck sakes). At least they got some shit done.
Demote Blake.
Oh, and WIN SOME FUCKING GAMES.


GO LEAFS! (do it for the kittens)

Leafs Lose...SHOCKER!

Even though the leafs lost..we both really enjoyed this game, why? Because Sidney Frikken Crosby and the Pittsburgh were in town, and if we have to lose to any team, we prefer if it is them. And why is that? Because we fucking love them that's why! Not as much as our Leafs, obviously, but enough for them to be a close second.

Melissa was EXTREMELY lucky tonight as she was able to attend the game! (we know, someone who is not a trillionaire at the Leafs Game..how odd) She took millions of pictures..most have Schenn in them (what can we say, he draws the attention of the camera)

Melissa took millions of pictures during the preseason, here are some samples of what went down:

That's just a little something something for everyone.

On to the first period! The Leafs fought. End of story. Literally, they only had 2 shots on goal. It was pathetic. Let's just say if it was any other team we may have become evil little bitches and told anything that moved off. Pittsburgh scored twice, Toskala let in the weak goals, but are we really surprised anymore 2-0 Pittsburgh at the end of the first.
Second period begins..LEAFS SCORE holy shit it's a miracle! 2-1. It's Rosehill's first goal of his career. YAY Rosehill, we applaud you.As we are thinking "YES, finally a hockey game!" Pittsburgh scores while they are still announcing the Toronto goal..lovely. They then score another making it 4-1 before we get to the third.

Third period begins, ANOTHER LEAF GOAL! (assisted by none other then Luke Schenn) and look at that, we have a hockey game again! But no..Pittsburgh scores a couple minutes after again...fantastic! Crosby, you are so lucky we like your team..Leafs Lose, and lets be honest..are we really surprised at this point.

But this was a physical game, so..some highlights?
Luke even got in on the action, unfortunately no picture, because Melissa was in a trance watching him.
Up next the Rangers on Monday, which is also THANKSGIVING, which means more food then anyone could possibly imagine ending up in our stomachs...such a beautiful holidy.
We really REALLY hope we win Monday..and beat up Avery while we are at it..we can't tolerate him.
Til then au revoir
and HAPPY THANKSGIVING, or happy turkey gobble day...which ever you prefer =)

getting shat on.

Kerry Fraser:
you may have won the battle,
but we will win the war.

First Period

Fuck all.

Oh, well except for this.

According to TSN, Stalberg leaves the arena showing concussion symptoms. Now it's war. No-one messes with Stalberg and gets away with it. Especially players from the Senaturds. No-one.

Second Period

Kerry Fraser, we know you hate us. We get it. What we don't get is why you have to make RIDICULOUS penalty shot calls on Luke Schenn who, oh, we don't know, WAS DOING HIS FUCKING JOB AS AN FUCKING NHL DEFENCEMAN FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK. LIKE HOW THE HELL DOES WHAT HAPPENED REQUIRE A PENALTY SHOT?! We don't get it, srsly, can you explain?

THIS JUST IN
Fraser will retire from officiating after the NHL 2009-2010 season.

Thank you Jesus.

Third Period

We don't know about you, but we're pretty sick of people not taking pictures of Matt Stajan goals and his celebrations. The artistic renderings, as previously posted, are complete crap. Damn you game photographers. We want some wuality shots, pronto.

Sad to say, Stajan's goal matters, but not too much. We lose 2-1. To the Senaturds. Oh God, spare us.

NOW ON TO MORE UPLIFTING AND WHIMSICAL THINGS

Because honestly, when are we ever going to see Tie Domi figure skating (or at least attempting to figure skate) ever again?

We're still seriously holding out for the possibility of him wearing sequin pants or some animal-fur vest. Anything, really. Maybe if he gets to the finals he'll pull it off? Who knows.

We'll be blogging Battle of the Blades too. Only because IT'S FUCKING AWESOME and even though we're in unniversity now and have readings and assignments and stupid fucking tutorials up our fucking asses WE STILL HAVE NO TIME ON OUR HANDS. So watch out for that. Cause we're just too cool.

GO LEAFS!

In the home of the caveman.

Our Toronto Maple Leafs baffle us. They say defense is going to be our strong suit..and then this happens. Where were the 'D' in the first and second period..were they taking naps or something.
We knew this was going to be a terrible night when one of the first images we see is of Alex Ovechkin shooting a snot rocket out of his nose...this will haunt us for years to come.
We are currently trying to forget the first period of this game. It was abysmal. That first goal *shiver* well lets not think about that.

We are quite mad at Toskala at the moment..we understand last year with the injury and the shitty defense (not like it was any good tonight but still..) but this year we don't want to hear any excuses..we want to see some production making that show stopping save. Which he did have one tonight, but it was a TAD too late. Once GStav came in, we thought some crazy shit was going to go down, and we would finally start playing well...we did too, even got a goal! Insane right. But no..defensive breakdown after defensive breakdown and what do you know, we've got another goal for Washington.

This was a really hard game to watch, therefore a very hard game for us to write about so it's going to be a short post.
The leafs finally came alive in the third, Gstav was solid, the 'd' was contributing, Luke Schenn got an assist all was going well..by then though it was hard to make the full comeback complete. We are happy we got 4 goals on this night when Varlamov was doing a very, very good job in net. The effort to try and comeback will not go unnoticed. We applaud you for trying, but would appreciate it if when we play Ottawa, we play the whoooole 60 minutes...please, with a cherry on top =)

On a much, much brighter note Battle of the Blades starts tomorrow and we will most definitely be posting about it..because when are we ever going to see Tie Domi figure skating ever again. We plan on taking full advantage of this opportunity and will fill you all in!

That's all for tonight, this game took a lot out of us.
Go Leafs.



p.s. if you don't know..we call Ovie a caveman, the resemblance is staggering

Home Opener - Canadiens @ Leafs, Oct 1st

For the record, we're blaming everything tonight on Bob Gainey's epic moustache he was sporting during his playing years.

Honestly, how can something this epic be ignored? The power of that moustache still resonates to this day. How else can you explain the loss tonight?

First Period

Stalberg (look, NO FUCKING H) has some pretty sweet moves and almost has a goal, but doesn't. It would have made us so happy and giddy inside. Luke Schenn also has a few good shots on goal but they're all easily stopped or go wide. We still like it nonetheless.

There were two fights. First up was Orr vs. Laraque

Anyone else notice that Orr is wearing Domi's 28? Yeah...

Second on the dock was Rosehill (honestly, are you even surprised at this point?) vs. Travis Moen

Truculence was delivered, to say the least.

Brian Gionta scores the first goal for the Canadiens, and we're all like "Shit." Everytime a shot is taken against Toskala Vanessa holds her breath and waits for it to pass.

Soon after the Gionta goal, Poni scores a nice one.

Yeah, we know you can only see Grabbo. Blame the photographers. Or the bad angle. We don't care.

The entire night Kaberle had some nice puck handling. That man can make plays, he just needs to work on shooting the puck a tad more often. He has a deadly shot - if it can break newly placed glass in our practice arena, we would expect him to brag about that shit. But not Kabby. He's too modest for that sort of thing.

Second Period

The second period starts with nothing. No seriously. Besides some dogpiles and us seriously questioning why some people play hockey, it was pretty uneventful. Leave it to the power of the Gainey Moustache to come back from the past and bite us in the ass. Travis Moen scores for the Canadiens making it 2-1. By this point Melissa is already screaming about G-stav and his whereabouts.

To make us feel better and, of course, not let us down, desert us, or make us cry, Matt Stajan scores. At the time of this post there are no pictures (without watermarks, we fucking hate watermarks as much as you do) of the goal, so you'll just have to do with this artistic rendering of Matt Stajan skating.

We shall call it, ".......honestly? Who the fuck took this instead of a goal celebration shot?"

Third Period

Matt Stajan scores his second of the night (again, not photographed, bastards), and we're crossing our fingers for a hat trick and a win. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently so.

Because Glen Metropolit scores. And it just goes downhill from here.

We absolutely fucking FAILED at the penalty kill tonight. Komisarek was more preoccupied with fighting and stirring shit up with his former teammates then, oh, we don't know, DOING HIS JOB AS A D-MAN. Yes, we get you want to be truculent. And yes, you had some nice hits tonight. But when you're put on a penalty kill, you're supposed to KILL THE FREAKIN' PENALTY, not get another one.

Because of this, we go into over time.

Overtime

Toskala has some nice saves. And for the entire five minutes, it looks like we're going into shootout. Wow, a shoot out in our first game. Only the Leafs.

That is, until Toskala has another fail and let's in a goal. It's all about the power of the moustache. It doesn't like us or something ever since Ian White killed his. Revenge of the moustaches? We think so.

Cue the music, baby. It's about to get saucy in here.

As Vanessa buries her head in her history textbook as her brother teases her that his team beat her team, therefore making him superior (which he is most definitely NOT), Melissa is calling up Ron Wilson and demanding that he teach his team the art of the PK. If we continue like this, we're dead.

Leafs lose 4-3.

Please please please please pleeeeeeeease improve the penalty kill. Oh and for spending God knows how much money on defence this past summer they blew pretty hard tonight. Let's get our shit together.

Saturday we're at Washington. We nominated Luke Schenn to beat the douche out of Alex Ovechkin. We all know he can do it.

Speaking Of Luke Schenn...

You're welcome, ladies. Don't get too excited.

Vanessa: What's the word for giving birth to 1000 babies?

Melissa: Luke Schenn.

-----

Imaginary Doctor: How many babies?

You: Luke Schenn.

Doctor: Ooooooooh fuck.