For the record, we're blaming everything tonight on Bob Gainey's epic moustache he was sporting during his playing years.
Honestly, how can something this epic be ignored? The power of that moustache still resonates to this day. How else can you explain the loss tonight?
First Period
Stalberg (look, NO FUCKING H) has some pretty sweet moves and almost has a goal, but doesn't. It would have made us so happy and giddy inside. Luke Schenn also has a few good shots on goal but they're all easily stopped or go wide. We still like it nonetheless.
There were two fights. First up was Orr vs. Laraque
Anyone else notice that Orr is wearing Domi's 28? Yeah...
Second on the dock was Rosehill (honestly, are you even surprised at this point?) vs. Travis Moen
Truculence was delivered, to say the least.
Brian Gionta scores the first goal for the Canadiens, and we're all like "Shit." Everytime a shot is taken against Toskala Vanessa holds her breath and waits for it to pass.
Soon after the Gionta goal, Poni scores a nice one.
Yeah, we know you can only see Grabbo. Blame the photographers. Or the bad angle. We don't care.
The entire night Kaberle had some nice puck handling. That man can make plays, he just needs to work on shooting the puck a tad more often. He has a deadly shot - if it can break newly placed glass in our practice arena, we would expect him to brag about that shit. But not Kabby. He's too modest for that sort of thing.
Second Period
The second period starts with nothing. No seriously. Besides some dogpiles and us seriously questioning why some people play hockey, it was pretty uneventful. Leave it to the power of the Gainey Moustache to come back from the past and bite us in the ass. Travis Moen scores for the Canadiens making it 2-1. By this point Melissa is already screaming about G-stav and his whereabouts.
To make us feel better and, of course, not let us down, desert us, or make us cry, Matt Stajan scores. At the time of this post there are no pictures (without watermarks, we fucking hate watermarks as much as you do) of the goal, so you'll just have to do with this artistic rendering of Matt Stajan skating.
We shall call it, ".......honestly? Who the fuck took this instead of a goal celebration shot?"
Third Period
Matt Stajan scores his second of the night (again, not photographed, bastards), and we're crossing our fingers for a hat trick and a win. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently so.
Because Glen Metropolit scores. And it just goes downhill from here.
We absolutely fucking FAILED at the penalty kill tonight. Komisarek was more preoccupied with fighting and stirring shit up with his former teammates then, oh, we don't know, DOING HIS JOB AS A D-MAN. Yes, we get you want to be truculent. And yes, you had some nice hits tonight. But when you're put on a penalty kill, you're supposed to KILL THE FREAKIN' PENALTY, not get another one.
Because of this, we go into over time.
Toskala has some nice saves. And for the entire five minutes, it looks like we're going into shootout. Wow, a shoot out in our first game. Only the Leafs.
That is, until Toskala has another fail and let's in a goal. It's all about the power of the moustache. It doesn't like us or something ever since Ian White killed his. Revenge of the moustaches? We think so.
Cue the music, baby. It's about to get saucy in here.
As Vanessa buries her head in her history textbook as her brother teases her that his team beat her team, therefore making him superior (which he is most definitely NOT), Melissa is calling up Ron Wilson and demanding that he teach his team the art of the PK. If we continue like this, we're dead.
Leafs lose 4-3.
Please please please please pleeeeeeeease improve the penalty kill. Oh and for spending God knows how much money on defence this past summer they blew pretty hard tonight. Let's get our shit together.
Saturday we're at Washington. We nominated Luke Schenn to beat the douche out of Alex Ovechkin. We all know he can do it.
Speaking Of Luke Schenn...
You're welcome, ladies. Don't get too excited.
Vanessa: What's the word for giving birth to 1000 babies?
Melissa: Luke Schenn.
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Imaginary Doctor: How many babies?
You: Luke Schenn.
Doctor: Ooooooooh fuck.
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