OH HAI LUKE.

GIF credit goes to wraparoundcurl for making this piece of art worthy of the finest museums.

PREGNANT. WITH SEXTUPLETS.

Is it safe to say The Human Eraser is back?

Last night the Leafs played a solid game, but the biggest surprise of the night came in the form of Jason Blake scoring the game-winning goal. Sorry, we weren't exactly expecting it from him. It being Luke Schenn's 100th NHL game (and what a game it was) combined with the fact that the two previous goals were scored by defencemen (Mr. Mustache and Beauchemin) made us think that Schenn would score somehow. Unfortunately he didn't, even though he did have a few nice shots and an absolute monster hit on Sim.

Anyone else notice that Schenn basically eyed him out like a hawk on prey when waiting to finish him, Mortal Combat style. We're also pretty sure a certain someone...JIZZ
IN
MY PANTS

Tonight we play Boston yet again. Hopefully Kessel can get a hat trick this time? plz?


GO LEAFS GO!

things we've learned this past week.

We here at BehindTheBlueLine have learned some very important lessons this past week, and we'd like to share them with you.

1. University is the biggest asshole in the entire universe. Especially during exam season. We credit it for the lack of posts, and we are terribly sorry. That doesn't mean we haven't been watching the games, though.

2. Is that a Vesa Toskala mullet/faux-hawk? What will, laaaike, Mickeh Mause and his man poorse think?

3. Luke Schenn is slowly coming back to us. Colby Armstrong's funeral will be held...oh wait, sorry, we were distracted by Poni being temporarily awesome.

4. Poni can be a solid player on his terms...ocassionally. This needs to change to ALWAYS.

5. SAME GOES WITH YOU MATT STAJAN

6. Does Lee Stempniak have a switch somewhere on his body that he can turn on awesome mode whenever he wants? If so, we'd like that switch please. We could definitely use it.


For those of you in exam season: we share your pain and good luck to you.
For those of you who are not in exam season: LUCKY FUCKING BASTARDS


GO LEAFS GO!

a child friendly message from brian burke

DEAR LEAFS NATION,

IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SWEARING THAN I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU CLICK THE LITTLE FUCKING 'X' AT THE TOP OF YOUR SCREEN.

LISTEN THE FUCK UP AND CALM THE FUCK DOWN. THIS IS BRIAN FUCKING BURKE. ALRIGHT, I KNOW YOU'VE ALL BEEN READING THE NEWS. "LEAFS GET SHUT OUT BY THE BUFFALO SABRES" FOLLOWED BY "LEAFS SHUT OUT THE DIRTY-ASS HABS." I KNOW, WE'RE FUCKING BI-POLAR, AREN'T WE?

BUT WE'VE GOT MORE SERIOUS ISSUES ON OUR HANDS NOW.

I KNOW YOU'VE ALL SEEN THE NEWS REPORTS BY NOW THAT JONAS GUSTAVSSON IS GOING TO NEED MORE FUCKING HEART SURGERY. YEAH, I KNOW. FUCK MY LIFE TOO. ANYWAYS, I WANT EVERYBODY TO NOT WORRY. CALM THE FUCK DOWN, FOR FUCK SAKES. HE'S GOING TO COME BACK SOONER THAN LATER AND FUCKING DOMINATE THE COMPETITION. IF WE WANT TO KEEP THIS GUY PIMPING FOR TEN OR FIFTEEN YEAR WITH US WE BETTER GET HIM HEALTHY NOW SO HE CAN ACTUALLY DO THAT. THREE WEEKS TO FIFTEEN YEARS IS NOTHING. NOTHING.

JONAS IS GOING TO BE OKAY. STOP SCREAMING AND THREATENING TO KILL YOUR FIRST-BORN CHILD. STOP GETTING YOUR FUCKING PANTIES IN A BUNCH. OH WAIT, LUKE SCHENN'S STARE MELTED THEM ALL. GO BUY YOURSELVES A NEW FUCKING PAIR.

IF ALL ELSE FAILS WE HAVE IAN WHITE. HIS MUSTACHE WILL TAKE HIS PLACE AS A DEFENCEMAN AND HE WILL BECOME GOALIE. HIS SAVE PERCENTAGE IS LIKE, FUCKING 1.0 ANYWAY. YEAH I KNOW. WHAT A PIMP.

HAVE A GOOD FUCKING DAY,
BRIAN BURKE

P.S - CAPS LOCK IS GOLD. I TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND NOW WHENEVER I TYPE THINGS IT JUST SEEMS AS IF I'M YELLING AT PEOPLE OVER THE INTERNET WHEN I'M REALLY NOT. IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE FUCKING BADASS, DON'T YOU AGREE?