Were we watching a wrestling match or a hockey game? If this game wasn't the definition of truculence, than we don't know what is. Four fights. Loved it.
First Period
Colton Orr decides to destroy. We like. The beginning of truculence is emerging and Orr is the catalyst. We don't even know if using catalyst makes sense because we're English buffs and were not cut out for science. But it sounds right, so we'll stick with it.
Mike Fisher decides to fuck with us and scores the opening goal. We read his quote. We actually laughed at his audacity to say such a thing when the Senaturds have also won only three out of their last ten games. Whatever Mike. Whatever.
After he scores, it seems like five seconds later, the Leaf's newest hero nets one in for us.
Thanks Kessel, you beaver-bear mix, you (we mean that in the most loving way possible since you're the biggest WIN on the team right now). We knew we could count on you.
Second Period
What doesn't happen during the second period?
Chris Niel decides to show the world how much of a cheap, cheap bitch he is. After he decides to check Luke Schenn, he takes a cheapshot while Schenn is still on his knees. The result? What the hell do you think?
MOTHER FUCKIN TRUCULENCE BITCH.
(Is Luke Schenn truculence called Lukeulence? Just a thought...)
Hagman nets in a nice one, and --- wait, ARE WE LEADING?!
We kind of get very excited (we're bad like that) and start spewing off insults towards the Senaturds (we're good Leaf fans like that) and the fact that Chris Neil and Foligno constantly look like ugly, angry Smurfs who didn't get their morning dose of sunshine or whatever it is Smurfs get (do they even get shit?) when Milan Michalek decides to rape us sideways, just like school has been doing to us recently and will continue doing until it ends in December. It's tied 2-2.
Only a couple of minutes later, Mike Fisher becomes possessed with the ugly power of country music. And not the good kind of country music that you kind of secretly like, where you bop your head to it or know some of the lyrics.
No, we're talking about the fucking COUNTRY country, as in the really annoying kind where when you're browsing the radio to see what's on and you come to that one country station and you're all like "HOLY SHIT PEOPLE ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THIS SHIT HOW CAN THEY DO IT ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG."
That kind.
He scores a goal. Ugh. Mike, don't make us mad.
Third Period
A few good saves by Toskala (mark it down on your calendars), some --yes, we have to admit--really good saves by LeClaire who just happens to become really good when facing Ottawa's biggest enemy, and basically nothing esle. No scoring. No evil, possessed country music.
Leafs lose 3-2.
We are back in Carolina Thursday. Here's to hoping we steal their women (the classy ones, at least) and the game again.
One last memento of Luke Schenn vs. Chris Neil Round Two:
We know what you're thinking because we're thinking it too. Yes, even if you are a guy...Luke has that effect on people.
GO LEAFS!!
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