a love letter of sorts.

Dear Tyler Bozak,

Can you let us in on the secret of what the HELL is up with dudes from the prairies? You're from Regina, the capital of Saskatchewan, home of Tommy Douglas, farms, wheat, and more wheat. You played US College hockey with the University of Denver before signing with the Leafs. You're a part of the "frat-pack" with Stalberg and Hanson.

You, my good man, are simply amazing.

We don't know if it's because you're from the prairies, like so many others before you. Wendel Clark, Johnny Bower, Gordie Howe, Luke Schenn - all these players come from you're home province. We don't know if it's your boyish charm or the fact that you still look like a fetus despite being 23 years old. Maybe it's because you were a part of the team when the Victoria Grizzlies were named the Victoria Salsa. Yeah, that's right - SALSA.

Does this mean you know how to dance? Cause we saw you do some spiffin' moves with the puck tonight, and on previous nights. Needless to say we're impressed. Tonight's game against the Buffalo Sabres was kind of all over the place, but you were there to let us know that everything was going to be okay.

When we pulled JoeyMac (who, despite letting in three goals had a great game himself), we thought it was going to be over - we hate it when goalies are pulled. Hate it. Almost as much as we hate the Senators. Regardless, when the puck was sailing down the ice, we almost couldn't bear it. It was too much to handle. When the Buffalo player got it, we were about to vomit. We would lose 4-2. Our friends would not stop teasing us. We would hear about this in great detail tomorrow.

But then,

*falls off chair*

and that's when you cemented yourself into many things, for us at least.

For one, you cemented yourself as the one player we believe has the best shot of staying with the Leafs for the season. We were previously torn on this decision; Melissa was saying you because of your play-making abilities and Vanessa was saying Stalberg because of his speed. But when this happened, you were number one in both our hearts. Feel special.

Second, you cemented yourself as our hero of the game. In a game full of missed passes, atrocious give-aways and the biggest FAIL of life by Ponikarovsky missing on a breakaway, you averted disaster in a move that made our hearts palpatate. You haven't quite reached pimp status yet, but you're close. Keep up the swagger.

Third, you just became a man without having a bar mitzvah or anything similar. How does it feel?

We hope it feels good. In parting, we'd like to leave you with a few words;

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG HAVE OUR BABIES BUT I THINK I JUST FELT MINE KICK HOLY SHIT ZOMG AMAZING BOZAK BOZAK BOZAAAAAKKKKKK MARRY US AND MAKE OUR FAMILIES PROUD OF US ZOMG ZOMG WE LOVEEEE YOUUUUU BOZAAAKKKK COME IN OUR VAN WE'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES.

Love,

Vanessa and Melissa.

P.S. Calm down Schenner, you're still number one (and will always be number one) in our hearts...and child count.

P.P.S. Bozie, for the love of God and all things holy, PLEASE never do THIS to yourself again. Thanks babycakes.